


envy is an imperfection

by aqakita



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Requests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:03:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqakita/pseuds/aqakita
Summary: Fame helps Violet to make friends with everyone, but starts to regret it.





	envy is an imperfection

It was known that Fame was a woman to strive for perfection. She was, at all public times, as flawless as she could be. Any criticism was taken under advisement, and she would find a way to fix it. From this, she carried herself with a cool confidence and a surefootedness, convinced that she knew herself intricately and impeccably. Something that she was prided on was the fact that though she played the perfectionist, she didn’t bring others down. She treated everyone with a tenderness and a loving touch.

That included people who others tended not to stomach; that included Violet. Violet, who was beautiful on the outside, with a polished sublimity that couldn’t be dismissed. But it appeared, to those who spoke with her, that the dark haired girl was rotten inside. To most people, she was conceited and rude, and carried herself with an intended brusqueness. Some even considered her to be cutthroat. Many had bad words to say about her.

Fame knew better than that. As if it was as plain as day, she could see through Violet’s façade as if it was made of thin glass - if only those built up walls were as fragile. Underneath the unapproachability, there was a heart; Fame was certain of this. The reason for it had gone completely over her head, as she knew too little of her past to make snap judgements regarding her behaviour. Though her friends described Violet as annoying, she wasn’t convinced.

The first time she had any one on one time with Violet, she was pleasantly surprised. In fact, compared to the things she heard, she seemed almost sweet. There was a level of impersonality at first, falling in the form of cynicisms and jokes, and the odd supercilious comment, but soon enough, it seemed like she was settling. Even when she was speaking, it sounded almost like her way of talking was in an attempt to be impressive, as opposed to being rude. She wasn’t conceited out of insecurity; it was confidence.

But in spite of that, it was still an act. She wasn’t insecure in herself, she knew who she was, and what she wanted, and how to get that. The reason for maintaining the act was for distancing. Perhaps it wasn’t originally for that purpose, and she’d just recognised the effect of her behaviour, and ran with it. With the light that found itself behind her eyes, it actually seemed like she was happy to be talking with someone. Fame found herself grinning a little, enthused by Violet’s enthusiasm.

Another surprise with Violet, she noted a few weeks down the line, was that she was a lot more physically affectionate than she expected her to be. They’d started to grow close, Fame adamant to maintain a friendship with her and eager to get her involved with some more people. When they would speak, Violet would often touch Fame’s wrist, or knee, or create more proximity by shifting closer between exchanges. When she stayed over at the perfectionist’s house, she was more than happy to sleep cuddled up against her side.

It was something odd to her, in reflection. People had snarled about her unpleasant attitude, and while there was still the occasional thing said that rubbed her up the wrong way, Violet was sweet. She’d shown, without an attempt to hide or mask it, a genuine tenderness. As more time passed, she’d begun to show this to others too. She had different attitudes for different people, quickly aware of they wanted from her. There was a playful bitchiness in her when she spoke to Pearl and Trixie, and more of a silliness with Katya.

Having integrated the girl into the group, she found herself feeling an unusual, selfish regret for letting her in. Fame was overjoyed, grateful that Violet had found a good friendship group here, but seeing her leaning into Pearl, laughing at everything she said, there was an unfamiliar sinking feeling in her stomach. It took seeing her kiss Katya’s cheek for her to really click what the feeling was - jealousy.

At first, she considered that it was just the absence of as much physical contact. It had been nice to have someone to hold, and now she was having to share them out. That was all she wanted it to be. That was what she believed it was, up until the flirting started. When she could hear the chemistry between Violet and Pearl, it felt like her heart was being crushed. How she hadn’t noticed herself catching feelings, Fame didn’t know, but she imagined it had something to do with getting all the platonic intimacies one would have in a relationship, without being in one.

The change in Fame didn’t go unnoticed. When Violet went out for coffee with her, she was trying to decipher what the brought about the strangeness in her. There was now a sense of apprehension from her, something that made it seem like she was hardly Fame anymore. It felt like she was an imposter. Over the table, across the cups, she reached for her hands, and squeezed tightly. Though she attempted to make it, there was no eye contact given.

“You’re being weird.” Violet stated it bluntly, and that was enough to get her looked at.  
“What do you mean?” Playing it off wouldn’t work, because there was a bit of a blush to her cheeks, and a discomfort evident in her eyes.  
“You’re not acting right, like you’re upset with something. What’s wrong?” Before she could speak, she interjected, “Don’t say nothing. Tell me.”   
“It’s stupid, I don’t want to.” Fame liked to carry herself with confidence, but in this moment, she had none of that.

After a pause, Violet taking one hand back to have a sip of her cappuccino, she asked, “Did I do something?”  
“No.” She was quick to reply, “You didn’t do anything, no.”  
She was suspicious of the phrasing, “But it’s about me, isn’t it?”  
There wasn’t a response, and though she wanted out of this situation, she didn’t let go of the hand she still had. Noticing she was looking a little hurt, she clarified, “I think I just got used to having you around. I didn’t consider that when you got used to everyone else, that you might spend more time with them than with me. I didn’t think about how you might get closer with them than with me.”

Suddenly aware of what she meant, there was a look of surprise on the black haired girl’s face. A shock, a fluster, and then, a smugness. Of course, how hadn’t she noticed. Fame had been off for a little while, and it always seemed to be around everyone else. They hadn’t got much one on one time lately, so she’d not noticed it in those instances, too busy making the best of the time they had together.

“You’ve got a crush on me?”  
“I’m not 12, Violet,” Fame rolled her eyes, though she was a bit flustered, “I like you. I really do. I think I have for a long time but I didn’t realise that’s what it was. But I miss having you around me, I miss when we shared my bed, and when you fell asleep on me on the couch, and-”  
Violet hushed her, partly because she could see her getting too emotional, and partly because she didn’t know if she would stop. Squeezing her hands tightly again, she looked her in the eye, “I like you too. That’s why I clung to you so quickly, that’s why I didn’t get bored and leave.” Repeating the main point, she stated, “I like you too. A lot.”  
“I feel like I made a big deal out of nothing.” There was a sense of embarrassment to her tone, and then a full fledged fluster when Violet flatly responded.  
“You really did.”


End file.
